Crystal,
First, let me say that I am writing this letter as I do not believe you & I will ever be able to speak openly with one another. I respect that it may be uncomfortable for you to speak candidly about your feelings but I a not comfortable with letting my feelings go unheard.
Second, I need you to understand that I am gay & that is not going to change. Despite what you believe, this is not a choice of mine & certainly not anything I will apologize for. I get that you may be embarrassed by this & are fearful of any “questions” that may arise but that does not change who I am.
I have been in a committed relationship for 13 years now & my family is no less important than any heterosexual relationship. I face discrimination & bigotry everyday but to have to experience it from my sister is more painful than you know. For years now, I have refused to ignore my family so you can be comfortable around your friends. It has not gone unnoticed that you blatantly refuse to invite me & my family to gatherings to celebrate Ashlyn & Austyn while you simultaneously invite Jerry & Diane, Derek, etc. with open arms. I also know that you play off questions about my whereabouts by blaming me for not attending.
I refuse to beg you for a sincere relationship. If we can’t be close & really get to know one another, so be it. I am resigned to accept that reality. Please know that I do love you but as long as you continue to choose to avoid or ignore the reality of who I am, we are no type of family. Family is so much more than blood. It requires respect too!
I am not asking you to compromise your beliefs about my relationship. You are entitled to believe what you want as am I. I only ask that you, for once, stop shutting my family out of Ashlyn & Austyn’s lives. Fortunately, they are both old enough to make their own decisions. Thirteen years is too long to wait for the “first time.”
I will not be ashamed of who I am so you can be comfortable & avoid answering any questions. Besides, all of Westmoreland knows that I am gay so I don’t know what you are afraid of. You didn’t make me gay & who I am is no reflection of you. Thankfully, your ignorance and judgement are no reflection on me.
I am always ready to talk & hope that someday we can. I’ve tried, I feel, to have honest conversations. Now it’s your turn.
-Chris