I doubt I will ever understand why circumstances are the way they are today for you. If I could trade places with you though, I would without an ounce of hesitation.
It pains me to see you in your current state. No one deserves that, least of all you.
While every new day is a blessing on one hand, I also see it as a curse for you. You do not deserve the hand you have been dealt. I pray that it will all be over for you soon – whatever that means.