Exactly six months ago today I lost you forever.
I spent yesterday looking at photos and files on your laptop, the one I bought you a few years ago so that you could play games and check email or Facebook in bed. I’ll never forget how gradually you became less and less interested in using it and engaging online – I think interest first began to wain when it became more difficult to see and then slowly more difficult to comprehend.
Over the last year you very slowly became someone I did not recognize. Your laugh was heard less often and your smile seen less frequently.
What concerns me most now is that all I seem to be able to remember are the doctor visits or the pain and suffering you endured. I am finding it difficult to remember the better times. I am finding it difficult to stop crying over and focusing on the times that have nothing to do with who you are.
I want to remember the good things. I want to see you in my dreams and smell you around the corner.
I want to remember – and forget …
forever and always