It has nearly been a year since I last sat next to you on the couch. That day will forever be a sad day for me because it was that day, February 14th, 2015, that I helped you to the bed for the last time.
It was a different bed though and for different reasons. No longer was the focus to simply rest peacefully but now it was to rest for eternity.
That day was extremely difficult for me. Never have I had to make such a difficult decision as I did on that day. I still wonder if I made the right decision or just the easier decision. Even as I toil with the answer to that question, I can’t imagine having made a different decision for your sake.
All of those memories are flooding back to me as we approach the anniversary of your passing. Today brings specific memories with the amount of snow that has fallen. Beautiful, pure, fluffy snow – in uncommon amounts – that will from this point forward remind me of your passing. I will always believe that you left your body in sync with the coming snow out of consideration for us – as was the reasoning for everything you did. You knew that we would not have to take any more time off from work to care for you since the storm itself provided the necessary reprieve. You always felt ‘guilty’ that I was having to use my sick time to take you to the doctor and care for you – I wouldn’t have had it any other way though. In the end, no amount of time off from work is sufficient for the mourning that I continue to experience on a daily basis.
You are forever with me Ma and I will never forget your Love and Support.
forever & always