Two days from now will signify two years since I moved to Greenbrier.
It pains me to say that not much has changed, for me. I remain single and have yet to even entertain seriously the idea of dating. I remain overweight. I am more isolated now than I have ever been. I have yet to entertain in my home, a home I do enjoy.
50 is coming quick.
What I have done is manage to become severely depressed. All aspects of my life are currently unenjoyable. I feel stuck and frustrated in my career. I feel alone and lost in my personal life. My physical health is declining.
I did begin taking Zoloft 11 months ago and that did help tremendously but I fear that the dose I am on has leveled out in my system. I did discuss the possibility of a change (dose or drug) with my PCP a couple of weeks ago but we left it as is at my request. I am averse to increasing the dose as I am no fan of the lack of libido currently felt. I am uncertain of an alternate drug.
Intellectually though, I know the real problem is my complacency and lack of dedication/effort. A few months ago I purchased a treadmill, THE treadmill I said I needed, and have yet to give it a go. My motivation is in the shitter and I struggle to move.
Mel Robbins talks about using the 5-4-3-2-1 rule which is simply a means of getting up and getting going. I hesitate to even start the countdown …
A little more than two years remain and I need a miracle.