Letter to My Sister

Crystal,

First, let me say that I am writing this letter as I do not believe you & I will ever be able to speak openly with one another.  I respect that it may be uncomfortable for you to speak candidly about your feelings but I a not comfortable with letting my feelings go unheard.

Second, I need you to understand that I am gay & that is not going to change.  Despite what you believe, this is not a choice of mine & certainly not anything I will apologize for.  I get that you may be embarrassed by this & are fearful of any “questions” that may arise but that does not change who I am.

I have been in a committed relationship for 13 years now & my family is no less important than any heterosexual relationship.  I face discrimination & bigotry everyday but to have to experience it from my sister is more painful than you know.  For years now, I have refused to ignore my family so you can be comfortable around your friends.  It has not gone unnoticed that you blatantly refuse to invite me & my family to gatherings to celebrate Ashlyn & Austyn while you simultaneously invite Jerry & Diane, Derek, etc. with open arms.  I also know that you play off questions about my whereabouts by blaming me for not attending.

I refuse to beg you for a sincere relationship.  If we can’t be close & really get to know one another, so be it.  I am resigned to accept that reality.  Please know that I do love you but as long as you continue to choose to avoid or ignore the reality of who I am, we are no type of family.  Family is so much more than blood.  It requires respect too!

I am not asking you to compromise your beliefs about my relationship.  You are entitled to believe what you want as am I.  I only ask that you, for once, stop shutting my family out of Ashlyn & Austyn’s lives.  Fortunately, they are both old enough to make their own decisions.  Thirteen years is too long to wait for the “first time.”

I will not be ashamed of who I am so you can be comfortable & avoid answering any questions.  Besides, all of Westmoreland knows that I am gay so I don’t know what you are afraid of.  You didn’t make me gay & who I am is no reflection of you.  Thankfully, your ignorance and judgement are no reflection on me.

I am always ready to talk & hope that someday we can.  I’ve tried, I feel, to have honest conversations.  Now it’s your turn.

-Chris

Scanned, Handwritten Letter