It has taken me a long time to be completely honest and admit this but … you were right.
Your response to my letter was dead on.
I have let my own insecurities and embarrassment get the better of me over the past several years and rather than admit that, it was easier to blame you, and others, for the reasons behind me checking out.
I don’t have the strength and pride in my relationship to be able to stand strong and face any persecutions head on (assuming there would be any). I am embarrassed by my own circumstance so much so that it was just easier to check out and not attend any family functions. The truly disheartening thing about my decisions is that by showing up confidently in who I am, I may have been successful in swaying or even changing the prejudices and short-sighted views of any number of people. But yet, I let my own insecurities get the best of me and in turn deny the possibility of some profound ripples from occurring within the universe. For this, I am ashamed.
I am truly sorry for any pain that I may have caused and for the numerous birthdays I refused to attend as a result of my own pain.
I love you more than you know and it means a lot to me to know that you have continued to make my family feel welcome in your home.