Something has changed and I don’t know what it is.
Initially, I want to blame the break in our routine of calling one another which occurred as I began my summer vacation from work and you and Travis celebrated your anniversary in Hawaii but it’s just not that simple.
When we do talk, I feel like we are strangers and I secretly cross my fingers hoping that you don’t ask me any probing questions about my life space for I am ashamed.
Still though, I don’t feel as connected with you as I had in recent years and that is not your fault.
I find myself slowly withdrawing from the world around me and everyone I care for. On some level, I seek to stop nurturing any connections held and certainly resist forming new ones. All the while I am terrified of being completely alone – a fear that is all too realistic. I picture myself in a corner slowly devouring the world around me until I eventually im/ex-plode.
I am lost.