Letter to My Sister

Crystal,

First, let me say that I am writing this letter as I do not believe you & I will ever be able to speak openly with one another.  I respect that it may be uncomfortable for you to speak candidly about your feelings but I a not comfortable with letting my feelings go unheard.

Second, I need you to understand that I am gay & that is not going to change.  Despite what you believe, this is not a choice of mine & certainly not anything I will apologize for.  I get that you may be embarrassed by this & are fearful of any “questions” that may arise but that does not change who I am.

I have been in a committed relationship for 13 years now & my family is no less important than any heterosexual relationship.  I face discrimination & bigotry everyday but to have to experience it from my sister is more painful than you know.  For years now, I have refused to ignore my family so you can be comfortable around your friends.  It has not gone unnoticed that you blatantly refuse to invite me & my family to gatherings to celebrate Ashlyn & Austyn while you simultaneously invite Jerry & Diane, Derek, etc. with open arms.  I also know that you play off questions about my whereabouts by blaming me for not attending.

I refuse to beg you for a sincere relationship.  If we can’t be close & really get to know one another, so be it.  I am resigned to accept that reality.  Please know that I do love you but as long as you continue to choose to avoid or ignore the reality of who I am, we are no type of family.  Family is so much more than blood.  It requires respect too!

I am not asking you to compromise your beliefs about my relationship.  You are entitled to believe what you want as am I.  I only ask that you, for once, stop shutting my family out of Ashlyn & Austyn’s lives.  Fortunately, they are both old enough to make their own decisions.  Thirteen years is too long to wait for the “first time.”

I will not be ashamed of who I am so you can be comfortable & avoid answering any questions.  Besides, all of Westmoreland knows that I am gay so I don’t know what you are afraid of.  You didn’t make me gay & who I am is no reflection of you.  Thankfully, your ignorance and judgement are no reflection on me.

I am always ready to talk & hope that someday we can.  I’ve tried, I feel, to have honest conversations.  Now it’s your turn.

-Chris

Scanned, Handwritten Letter

I am proud of you!

I am so proud of you!

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.  It can be admittedly scary to transition out of high school but I promise you, the best is yet to come.  College is such a wonderful time.  Not only will you have a lot of fun, you will also learn more about yourself than you can ever imagine.

Your choices are yours to make … be smart about them.

Your beliefs are yours to define … question everything.

Your experiences are yours to explore … just be safe.

You are quickly becoming a wonderful young man and I am grateful to call you my nephew.  You are my pride and joy and I will always be there if you need me.

I am so proud of you.

I love you boop.

You can tell me anything.

I don’t want you to ever think I will be disappointed in you or that you will let me down.  So long as you are being true to yourself with the choices that you make, you will make the best ones.

Changing your major could never disappoint me as long as you are having fun in college and doing your best.  Remember who you are talking to, I was a second year senior when I finally declared a major in Sociology – an area where jobs are nonexistent without a masters – but I loved every minute of it.

You do what you need to do and I will support you.

When you decided to go to Bethel instead of UT after high school, I was never disappointed in your decision, I was only hurt that you couldn’t tell me yourself.  I knew that you were going to Bethel to be with EJ and yes, I was afraid that that meant you were compromising your dreams for someone else.  Still though, I just wish you could have been honest with me about your decision.  The fact that you couldn’t, confirmed to me that perhaps you were not being true to yourself and that is what disappointed me.

You are a beautiful young woman now and part of the experience of being an adult is making choices (good or bad) and making mistakes.  So long as you put love first, you will make good choices and so long as you learn from your mistakes, you will never really make any because the learning is what life is about.

The world is a brighter place because you are in it and no matter what, I will support you in your life journey.

I love you baby girl.

6

It is apparent that we are all part of something greater when in nature.

5

Our obsession with the physical realm and focus on the human body as our ‘self’ is disheartening.

4

The landscape that is the universe’s canvas evokes passion and peace. we only need to appreciate it.

3

The sea/ocean is a very spiritual place. Being completely surrounded by nature outside of our natural habitat and at Her mercy, is quite peaceful.