it is important to set goals … this is either that or an expiration date
February 12, 2028
I have often imagined if I would want to live past 50. I am now committing that I will not … not without some significant changes.
Participating in life has become exhausting and lonely. I give all the energy I have to the students in my care day in and day out without regret but I am tired.
I am tired of fighting against a society that emboldens the very character traits I try tireless to get my students to disavow. Those selfish GOP fucktards are ruining not only our democracy but also our very humanity.
I am tired of spending countless hours alone and lonely.
I am tired of cowering with zero self confidence in a body that repulses me.
I am tired of hiding who I am from the world but not because the world can’t handle it, because I can’t. The world impresses me every day how far we have come.
I am tired of being afraid. My anxiety and lack of self confidence has me constantly second guessing every attempt, no matter how small, to get away from myself.
I am tired of being so god damn tired …
My hope and prayer is that I am able to transcend this space but I am not sure I have the energy.